Balancing The Masculine vs Feminine, the Communication Code:
Mary is here to discuss the power of the Communication Code. She is also the author of Conscious Communications for Harnessing The Power of Your Words. She is an expert in personal development but is not a life coach; she’s a businesswoman who discovered a road map of how to get in control of your life. She truly walks her talk by generating pragmatic solutions for people who are freaking out. Mary blends personal experience with her extensive knowledge of neuroscience and human behavior to guide businesses and individuals to defeat the freak-out and create their ideal life.
On This Episode You Will Hear:
- [00:30] Introduction
- [01:48] We are a walking bottle of water, so to speak, right? 70% of our mass is water. So I’ve always thought I was a giant watermelon. I ate enough of them as a kid. You were a big watermelon geek?
- [02:32] You don’t swallow the seeds, or you could choke or die. We were probably perfectly willing to swallow them and drink through drink from water hoses. I actually I used to use them as firepower. We did the whole seed spitting thing. Just load up a whole bunch of them and start spitting.
- [03:35] Business communication is totally my claim to fame. I just gave two speeches and Florida at a medical conference on the concept of the Communication Code, which is a business communications strategy that I wrote and have been training on for 15 years.
- [04:21] So that’s where conscious communication came from. It’s basically like 20 years ago, I started with an idea. It was an idea that had the potential to change an industry to revolutionize the collections industry, to the create connections in business that are just strong and impactful.
- [02:32] It became the framework that I use to build out the personal development concepts in conscious communications.
- [05:41] It was also part of that inner desire that I had, you know, I think that I think the universe works in all kinds of ways. I believe that the book happening the way that it did was exactly how it was supposed to happen, to get my name out there. I had this other desire to get out of my comfort zone and get into the personal development space. It wasn’t the foundation of what I was really there to talk about, which was how to build trust and rapport and lasting relationships and communications. Based on my extensive research of neurology, psychology, and neuro chemistry.
- [08:24] I said sit down if you love debt, and no one sat down, not one person.
- [09:40] We’re vulnerable to the information that we’re given, and how it’s presented to us, and a million other things. That’s where I really got my start, creating these strategies. I mean, it was my own company collecting debt. So 20 years ago, when I started my company, you know, I wanted to be different, I wanted my unique value proposition to be that I was using sales to collect this debt versus threats and intimidation. The sales really failed because of a couple of reasons.
- [12:49] I know from the last show this, this wonderful, amazing fiance of yours has been a source of a lot of motivation and growth in your life. The only reason why we’re still together is because I finally started embracing vulnerability and softening the tough guy exterior and realizing that being vulnerable does not breed weakness and actually breed strength.
- [15:00] I think that we don’t need to have this perception of debt in our country, that it’s a bad thing. There are plenty of times when debt is an investment. What if my company would be twice or three times the size that it is now if I would have made different investments early on. This was probably almost 20 years ago, where a lot of companies were investing in dialers and a dialer system like an automatic call dialer, an automatic call dialer system was like 100 grand.
- [18:18] I remember giving you a huge green light. And I remember even after we got off the show talking for another 20 minutes or so.
- [19:16] Oh, yeah. Tell me the hack, because I’ll maybe I’ll steal it. otter.ai It’s an artificial intelligence app that voice transcribes.
- [21:55] The do not say words need to be read. So you’re saying that they can’t just be written down? They need to be spoken? Right. Well spoken. So the list of words that we never say are no, not, won’t, however, and unfortunately.
- [23:16] The strategy that I developed is, is most frequently and easiest to use, and in business communications, however, is typically going to indicate some kind of bad news. It triggers your fight or flight and it prepares you for an argument, you know, it puts you on the defensive.
- [26:55] I was doing more analytics methods and procedures, analysis and stuff like that as an analyst. But the years prior to that being on the front line coaching, developing, etc. These are the words that when you start hearing them, get ready to follow the process flow to get them to the save queue, as they are on their way out. If you can’t save them as a regular customer service rep, it was still your responsibility to try.
- [27:41] Every time they would use that word, what’s happening in the body of the consumer is they’re gearing up for a fight. Now there are certain words also. So rule number two is you want to replace those negative words with words that actually work to build a connection with the consumer. So just like there are words that trigger the fight or flight, there are also words that build confidence and trigger the opposite system. They trigger the parasympathetic.
- [29:22] It’s cheaper to save a customer than to market and sell and acquire a new one. I wish Verizon Wireless knew that.
- [29:52] A full one week immersion, to learn how to behaviorally analyze and behaviorally coach people. You’re not just managing them, okay, you need to understand communication and emotion. This is just from one on one from a coach to an employee.
- [30:35] You want to replace those words with words that actually work to build a connection with the consumer. So like, for example, what if every time you wanted to say, unfortunately, you just instead said fortunately.
She made $4,000 from one email, because when she pushed herself to eliminate the word, unfortunately, her brain was forced to come up with a solution to the problem too.
- [31:56] Sometimes in customer service, you get that one person on the phone, who without a doubt, you know, this is the person who can handle your business.
- [34:34] I’m asking for permission, I’m giving them some power to thing you give the person a little bit of power.
- [35:56] This is the magical part of the code. You have to validate what the consumers say to you. Validation is the most powerful part of building the connection. We have a set of human needs. One of our basic human needs is the need to be heard.
- [40:20] She can even consider getting the nail out of the head. What she needs is to be heard, because the moment that he even forced himself rolling his eyes to say, Oh, that must be hard. You know, he’s faking it.
- [44:13] All of those words in the subconscious mind plant a seed of a negative outcome, I am not going to get what I want with this person.
- [47:01] When someone sees the power of conditioned responses when I learned that it was very awakening to me because see what the reason I became number one was because I would say let’s go ahead and get you signed up today. Okay, and then the person just automatically says okay.
- [50:25] A classic, how to win friends and influence people.
- [53:37] The psychological burden that debt creates on the consumer side.
- [55:55] I’m just saying that burden exists on both sides of the dollar.
- [1:02:16] Creating ultimate consistency is a game changer.
- [1:03:12] From 2005 to 2006, we had 34% revenue growth. We have a business boot camp that all new hires go through.
- [1:08:58] FINAL WORDS
Watch On YouTube:
Co-Host Links and Resources:
- Buy Conscious Communications on Amazon
- @ShoresMary on Facebook
- @Mary_Shores on Twitter
- @Mary_Shores on Instagram
- @ShoresMary on LinkedIn
Closing out on the Communication Code… Every moment in life, moment to moment, every communication you are making, it serves a deeper connection with another human being.
- Submit an iTunes Review. More 5 Stars reaches more people!
- Visit our Resources page and a reminder to LIVE-THE-FUEL my friends!
- Join my private Facebook community THE FUEL TANK!